Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize