you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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