there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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