They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
