i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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