At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am available for nakedness
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
