Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
