we made out on top of his cat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
