you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
