my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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