you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
