I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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