We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
