i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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