Its about making memories worth repressing
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
