I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
