We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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