you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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