Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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