Nicole vs. Life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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