none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
