I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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