They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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