I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
