in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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