I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
