We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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