i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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