My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
