It's just like the Real World with babies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
