I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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