I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
