covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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