This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
