In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
