do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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