I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
