Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
