i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I CAN MOONWALK!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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