I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I died a long time ago.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize