Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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