Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
