So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My dick has a subreddit
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
