yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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