wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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