And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize