I hate all girls vehemently.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
