apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
