just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
