How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
