when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
