question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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