i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
