last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
