Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
