So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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