Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
