I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have tasted many bathrooms
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
