I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize