I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize