yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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