If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
