If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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