a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
