you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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